Three days ago, there was an interesting event that took place in this country. All over this country, people gathered in lines that sometimes went around a block, in order to celebrate a fast food restaurant. That alone is stupid enough, but when you hear the reason, it is beyond laughable.
It was called “Chick-fil-A Appreciate Day.” Like fast food America needs a day to appreciate it. The ever-growing levels of obesity in this country are a testament enough to how much we love their food (I’m not saying that all people who eat fast food are fat, but come on, that food is about as healthy as sucking down corn syrup). But you know what is the most interesting and laughably stupid part of this – what it signifies.
The sentiments of the people who partook in this day can be boiled down to this –
I ate some fried chicken because I hate gays.
That’s it. It really is that simple. You know it’s America when there is a nation holiday celebrating something this stupid. This is beyond just pathetic. This is so dumb that it’s laughable. This is the stupidest national event that this country has ever made. We literally are not only celebrating our bigotry, which is pathetic enough, but we are going out and buying fried chicken to celebrate our bigotry. How do you not see the irony?
Only in America is the celebration of bigotry a national event. Only in this country are people able to come together and hate and have it be like a big party. If there are any liberals out there who don’t get why the rest of the industrialized world laughs at us, this should it into perspective.
If that doesn’t do it for you, perhaps this will help –
See that? That’s the political butt of a joke and the quitter governor of my home state, Sarah Palin. She refuses to let herself go into the night, so what does she do? She decides that she is going to whore herself and her image out to Chick-fil-A, just so that she can believe that she is somehow culturally relevant, even though her most recent book has gotten to languish in the limelight of a bargain bin. Poetic justice to whoever had to ghost-write her book for her.
But this is why the rest of the world is laughing, and you know what, we should be laughing too.
When President Obama came out, several months after being put in office, when the Stock Market had leveled out and we weren’t free-falling into disaster, and said that “America is back,” nobody bought it. And they were right. We weren’t back. We were stalled. Stalled out and going nowhere. Now, four years later, we’re still stalled and going nowhere.
For those of you who are too young and too culturally ignorant to know, there was a great boxer. He went by the name Muhammad Ali. He was a king when he was in his prime. He would best any opponent and make it look like art. But that was in his prime. As he aged, his skills got lesser. He was still a fantastic boxer, for a long time. But towards the end, he wasn’t much. His last fight, against Trevor Berbick. He was beaten so badly, but even up until the end, he thought that he was “Ali.” But the problem was, he wasn’t.
The comparison between Muhammad Ali and America is very fitting. America and the people in it still seem to think that we are a great fighter, that we are the best. Only problem is, we aren’t. The American Society of Civil Engineers gives this country D’s and F’s across the board, looking at our infrastructure. Our health care is a joke in comparison to all of the other industrialized countries. Our education is among the worst of the industrialized world. The only things that we are at the top in, aside from our military strength, is things that we shouldn’t be bragging about, such as our prison populations, the amount of crime that we have, the amount of guns in the general population, and the worst part – we have the most amount of debt than any other country in the entire world.
But America still thinks that we are, metaphorically, Ali. We still think that we are at the top of our game. That we are #1. Only problem is, we aren’t. We still stand tall, but we are standing on a pile of sinking sand. We have no reason to brag, at this point. But the people don’t seem to get there.
Here’s the real truth – this whole pathetic affair with Chick-fil-A should have just been chalked up to a stupid decision that a stupid company stupidly made. They should never have gotten involved in this whole issue with gay marriage, but apparently, they didn’t get the memo. Instead, we have decided to make this a giant mountain, with conflicting sides, and the bigots come out in droves to get their food, and show their support.
If you want to know what is wrong with America, and you have had a very outspoken opinion about all of this, here’s a thought – look in the mirror.
You might just learn something.