An Alaskan journalist's perspective on local and national issues

Posts tagged ‘Citizen Kane’

Accepting Inevitable Failure? I Hope Not…

There has been a recent episode that I have been involved in that has brought me to question what I am doing right now and the future that I have.  Honestly, when these issues are critically examined, the fact is that my future doesn’t look so good.  Now, this will sound like a very unprofessional and very personal little rant, but it isn’t.  Really, this is a critical examination of the future and the fact that my future doesn’t look so good.

I have thought, for years, about what I wanted to do.  On paper, it sounded pretty good.  Surely, I thought, there are lots of areas that I could find employment.  Now I realize that that was just a childish notion, and now I am beginning to realize that maybe there isn’t much of a place in the world for one such as me.

I love politics.  I love it.  As horribly flawed as the system is, as screwed up and rigged as the game is, I love it.  I love every single bit about it.  What happens here, what happens in this country, it affects the world, and each of us.  It affects everybody in the world, and people in this country often forget that little detail.  For some, like a friend of mine, it is because they are too busy with their own lives to pay attention.

Part of the reason I want to be so involved in the national discussion of politics and hopefully working to affect real change is to help people like my friend Emily.  She is a great person.  She’s one of a rare breed who can help others, or try and help others, and asks nothing in return.  She is also the victim of the way things are in this country.  Every time a Libertarian comes at me talking about how people succeed based on their merits, a huge talking point of their little savior, Ron Paul, and his angel, Ayn Rand, I want to kick them in the face.  She busts her ass, and she is barely getting by in the world.  She may lose her home at the end of the month.  When the GOP talks about how the poor are lazy, I just want to scream.  My friend busts her ass (I used that word because I mean this that strongly, not to be unprofessional) every single day, trying to get ahead.  She is going to college but, like me, her degree that she is shooting for may leave her with nowhere to go, so don’t talk to me about how the poor are so lazy!

Sorry to get rantish there, but that is a button-issue of mine.  The bulk of the poor in this country are not sponges who are leeching from the system, but people who are trying their best to make something of their lives.  But the fact is that it is becoming harder and harder to make anything of one’s life anymore.  It is a tragic fact of life right now, and people are not as accepting as they should be.

And this is where I find myself.  I want to talk about politics, to report on politics.  The problem is that while I have a column in the newspaper with my name and this moniker, Lefty on the Left, I haven’t done any straight reporting on this subject.  Well, honestly, I don’t really believe in completely objective reporting.  Bias is always there.  I make no effort to hide mine.  Edward R. Murrow, “the Moses of broacast news,” as Bill Moyers called him, said that it is okay to have a bias, as long as you don’t try to hide it.

Although, maybe, just maybe, I can find a niche to belong to, a place to exist.  Maybe there will be a publication or something that can see the work that I have done with The Northern Light and they can be willing to give a guy a chance.  It’s all I can hope for at this point.  But the future looks kind of bleak.  I don’t want it to look so bleak, but it does.  I feel very much like Charles Kane, and missing the days of my childhood, when I was truly happy.  Although, I believe that most everybody does that.

Seriously, if you haven’t seen Citizen Kane, see it.  That film was truly a classic, and lately, has been how I am feeling, minus all the financial success that Kane had.

Peace out,

Eli

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